Hallowe’en. Just shut up.


Hallowe’en. Well, it’s obviously a thing, but it’s not our thing.

Ghastly imported festival of begging, based jointly on mediaeval claptrap and American consumerism. Make it stop.

It wouldn’t be so bad if anyone actually ever followed through on a ‘trick’. But no. Too soft for that, round here. Consequently my door is the target of endless kids from ‘the estate’, demanding Haribo with no particular menace.

You’d think the daily mail would be running a Hallowe’en-themed paedophile campaign to put a bit of non-evidence based fear into the heart of the season. But no.

Roll on bonfire night. Now there’s a proper festival.