Frozen hot chocolate

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Frozen hot chocolate is unlikely to be a thing.

Unless we are witnessing an extreme example of the Mpemba effect, a rare and unlikely consequence of quantum mechanics, or perhaps producing our hot chocolate in low atmospheric conditions, it’s probable that that hot chocolate isn’t actually frozen at all.

Or maybe it is frozen, but it isn’t hot. Yes, that’ll be it.

So it’s basically milkshake? Good.

Recipe: yes.

Shut up about cupcakes.

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They’re called buns, cakes or, if you must, fairy cakes. Cupcakes aren’t a thing. Muffins can shut up too.

As yet another outlet throws open its optimistic doors within a mile of my front door and attempts to make a decent living out of cupcakes, you’d think there wasn’t an enormous recession on.

What’s driving this demand for cutesy bits of over-decorated bakery product? Is there really a demographic out there who simply must have a cupcake with every trip outside the house?

And how do you sell enough of them to keep a business running?

Milfs.

Just as in one part of town the empty shop units are filling up with pay day lenders and pound shops, in another every other unit is devoted to bakery fetishism, “lunching” and really massive perambulators. It’s the yin and yang of unwise financial decision making: expensive loans versus pointless unnecessary cakes and a really lavish sit down at £3 a pop.